To Love A Gilmore Girl
by mysteryteenagelover
Summary: When sexy, infuriating Jess crashes Stars Hollow, his confrontation with Rory is inevitable. But the explosion is beyond anyone's wildest expectations. Literati. Rated for later chapters.
1. Jealousy

**To Love A Gilmore Girl**

**Chapter One - Jealousy**

**Author - MysteryTeenageLover**

**Disclaimer - don't own anything...wish I did - I would have introduced Jess in the first episode and cut the whole Logan storyline...etc**

**Dedication - to a certain person as a thankyou for showing me a picture of Milo Ventimiglia topless**

**A/N - I don't really know where this is going to go yet, I'm just posting the chapters as I write them. Ideas / feedback / flamethrowing - all welcome. Enjoy!**

**

* * *

**Looking directly into Rory's baby-blue eyes as he did it, Jess kissed the blonde in front of him. The girl pushed him up against the tree and kissed him harder, her hands touching Jess' chest. Rory ignored the white-hot jealousy coursing through her, and fixed her eyes on Kirk, who was having an extremely loud argument with Lulu on her left. But try as she might, she couldn't keep her gaze away from the very thing she had no desire to look at. Jess had rotated the two of them now, so that Rory could no longer see his face. What she could see, however, was the hands of the blonde girl traveling over Jess' back and down over his hips to grip his butt. Rory felt sickened. She couldn't see where, but the girl's hands had traveled around to Jess' front again, and were doing things that made Jess break away and say,

"Not here…" in her ear.

Pulling her to him again, and kissing her furiously, Jess fell back against the tree, pulling the girl into his chest. Tipping his head so that he could kiss her more deeply, Jess opened his eyes. He stared straight at Rory, unblinking, his mouth busy but his eyes open and focused. Rory couldn't watch any more, so she turned and ran to the cotton candy stand. Finding Dean, she kissed him, passionately, impatiently brushing the remnant of a tear from her eye. But deep down inside, Rory wished it was Jess that she could feel kissing her mouth. She wished that it was Jess' hands that were pulling her into him, and Jess' body that was touching hers.

* * *

_To Kill A Mockingbird_ was open on her desk, and her half-finished essay was lying at an angle to her textbook, just the way she liked it. Her favourite pens, the ones her mother teased her mercilessly about, lay in a neat line next to her pile of post-it notes. Her small, neat handwriting covered about half a page, but stopped mid-sentence. Rory sighed, and put her pen down. She couldn't think, she couldn't concentrate. For once, her books couldn't distract her from the fact that she was totally and utterly confused. She wasn't sure about anything any more, except that she was sure that she was confused. Loving, gentle Dean…what was wrong with her? She loved Dean, and wanted to have everything with him. He was always nice, always sweet and tender and considerate of her feelings. Dean knew her, knew her mother and was well-liked by the whole town. He had never done anything to upset her and he told her that he loved her all the time. That didn't explain why she couldn't stop thinking about Jess. Jess…who was brooding and quiet and downright rude to Luke. Whose eyes looking into hers and seemed to see her heart and soul. Who so openly displayed his affection for the skinny blonde from the carnival. Who always carried a book around in his back pocket, and wouldn't admit to being clever if his life depended on it. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine what it would be like to kiss him, to hold him. She imagined his lips, warm and sweet, touching hers, his hands pulling her to him and his tongue –

A crash from Lorelai's room brought her to her senses. She shook her head slightly and picked up a pen.

"Sorry…I didn't wake you, did I?"

Dean's head appeared around her door. He was always so considerate. She didn't deserve him.

"No, I was studying. Or trying to…" she trailed off. Her mother had broken her shelves trying to stand on them to get a spider off the ceiling, and Dean was repairing them. At six o'clock in the morning. She should have been asleep, but she couldn't even lie down and close her eyes. Every time she closed her eyes, the same dilemma was before her. And there was no way in the foreseeable future that Rory could figure out what to do. Not a chance.

* * *

"What're you reading?" Jess appeared silently behind her usual spot on the bench at the bus stop. She showed him the cover of _Gone With The Wind_, silently angry at him for making her feel so confused.

"What're you doing?" she asked him, short-temperedly.

"Waiting for my girl," he told her, nonchalant and off-hand. Seething inside, Rory turned a page, staring at the words but not seeing them. It was all she could do to stop herself from jumping up and slapping his across the face, hard, and telling him exactly what she thought of him. She had kissed him, in her blue dress, down by the bridge at the wedding. And then she had walked away. And he hadn't done a thing about it, except to pick up a blonde at the next town event. He was making her jealous and he knew it, she thought, trying to take in the words on the page and failing. Her internal anger was interrupted by the sound of Jess greeting a girl behind the bench. She forced herself to look straight down at the book. The sound of more kissing began behind her, and despite herself, Rory turned her head. Jess was once more staring straight into her eyes over the girl's shoulder. Slamming her book shut and causing the two to break apart behind her, she ran for the bus, not letting Jess see the tears in her eyes, or the way the hand holding the book shook as she handed over her ticket.

* * *

"Hey," Dean greeted her, kissing her quickly as soon as she got off the bus in the afternoon. Holding his hand gratefully, he walked her into town, stopping at Luke's for coffee.

"What do you want to do?" he asked her, touching her cheek with his lips briefly.

"Go sit in the gazebo? Maybe we can…talk?" she asked. Next to him on the bench a few minutes later, Rory was glad to have something to take her mind off Jess. That something was Dean's lips, warm and familiar at her mouth. His hands never stopped moving, touching her shoulders, back, hips, waist and then back up to hold her face gently as their mouths moved together.

"So…you didn't really want to talk, did you?" Dean asked, breaking away just enough to ask the question.

"Not really," Rory told him, a slight smile at her lips as Dean moved closer again. She loved the way that he knew what she loved; the exact spot on her neck that made her moan, the right place to put his hands to make her smile and the right way to kiss the corners of her mouth that made her eyes flutter closed. Sweet, caring Dean…how could she have thought that what Jess had to offer her could be better than this?"


	2. Refusal

**To Love A Gilmore Girl**

**Chapter Two - Refusal**

**Author - MysteryTeenageLover**

**A/N - I think you will like this one (especially the Narco-haters) There's no Literati smut - but if that's what you like I do encourage you to keep reading...**

* * *

"It's disgusting, what they do," Rory vented to Dean a few days later, "All over town, kissing and touching and…" She broke off to shudder. Dean rolled his eyes.

"Rory…over and over with the Jess and the blonde…why do you care so much?"

"It's just…we all have to see it. Can't they just…I don't know…get a room?"

"They're young, and in love…and anyway, we kiss outdoors all the time –" Dean went on, but Rory had stopped listening. She was only just aware of his touch, and her mind had gone haywire. In love? Jess was in love with her? And speaking of Jess…

Luke's nephew sauntered by, book in its usual place in his back pocket. Quickly, Rory pulled Dean to her and trailed open-mouthed kisses up his chin to his mouth. Tugging him even closer, she ran her hands all over him, and attacked his lips.

"Wow…Rory…" Dean pushed her gently away, taken aback at her sudden show of affection. Then out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jess' retreating back.

"Trying to make him jealous, are you?" Dean's mood changed all at once, and he put his hands in his pockets.

"Dean…come on…" Rory tried to take him arm, but he pulled away.

"What is it with you and him?" Dean exploded. "All the staring, and then you're so angry when he kisses that girl, and then being all over me when he can see us. What's wrong with you? Do you love him, or something? It's all you ever talk about – Jess, Jess, Jess. Can't you give it a rest? Just go and kiss him if that's what you want!"

And with that, Dean stalked away. Rory tried to run after him.

"Dean, please…that's not what I want. I'm dating _you_, I love _you_. Please."

But Dean was gone.

* * *

A slight tapping on the downstairs window dragged her out of bed and across the hall. Rory, pajama-clad, tugged open the curtains and pulled up the window. It was Dean.

"Dean…I –" But before she could finish, Dean reached up and put a finger to her lips.

"Let me talk," he told her, and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry. OK? I am. I didn't mean all that. It's just…I have no excuses. I love you, Rory Gilmore and I want you. I want to be with you, and I'm pretty sure you want to be with me. I'll never explode like that again, I promise. Please?"

Rory's eyes were fixed on Dean's, and when he was finished, he looked up into them. They softened, and be visibly relaxed. Rory couldn't find the words, so she silently took his hand and helped him into the living room.

"Of course I want to be with you," she managed, as he thudded somewhat ungraciously to the floor.

"Did I just wake your mother?" he asked, in a whisper.

"No…she went to Sookie's tonight. Because of the Max thing…she wanted to talk, or something. The house is all mine…" she waved vaguely at the living room, "That's why I'm dressed like this…I didn't – I mean, I wasn't expecting…" She trailed off as Dean stood up.

"So…are we OK?"

"Of course we are," Rory smiled as she said it, glad to have the one thing that was steady in her life back again.

Dean smiled as he kissed her, pressing his lips to hers. Rory parted her lips, sighing as his tongue touched her, running his hands over her hips. Walking backwards, and still fused at the mouth, Rory pulled Dean with her, back down the hall. He pushed her up against the closed door of her bedroom, his chest pressing into her as he kissed her faster, and with more passion. She reciprocated, loving the feel of his muscles on her chest. Dean ran his hands through her hair, and then down her neck, to her back, and to her waist. One hand pulled at her pajama pants, fingers inside the band, while the other hand felt for the doorknob. Twisting it, the two of them fell back into her room and stumbled onto Rory's bed. Rory underneath, Dean crushed her lightly into her mattress, hands still dealing with her clothing. Rory pulled at Dean's shirt, wanting to feel his naked torso against her. Dropping his head, Dean trailed hot kisses down her neck and over she collarbone, down to her breasts. Kissing one and touching the other made it difficult for Rory to concentrate on anything other than his hands. But when his mouth traveled down over her stomach, and she was capable of coherent thought again, her mind started traveling. She thought of what her mother would say if she came home now, she wondered if Dean had brought protection, and lastly, her mind came to Jess. And as soon as that name wandered across her mind, the rest was clear.

"Dean," she murmured, pushing him gently.

"Mmmm?" he asked, mouth back at her neck.

"No…no, Dean. Stop!" she cried, pulling him off her, harder this time.

"What is it?" Dean asked, his eyes full of concern. Rory reached for her singlet and covered herself. She couldn't even explain it to herself clearly, all she knew was that to have sex with Dean when she was still hung up on Jess wasn't fair.

"It's him…isn't it?" Dean asked, taking his shirt off the floor and buttoning it.

"No…no," Rory struggled, needing to make him understand, "It's not. And I'm not saying no. I'm just saying not here, not now. I'm not…" she trailed off.

"Rory, you're not saying not now. You're saying not ever. You're in love with Jess, Rory, and everyone but you can see that. I thought I could pretend, or that you would get over it, but you're not. There's nothing left for me to say to you, Rory. Nothing at all. Just go to Jess. You know you want to. You both want it, and now I'm not in your way. Go."

With that, Dean strode out of her bedroom and out the front door. On the threshold, he turned, and seeing Rory watching him go with tears in her eyes and shaking shoulders, he added,

"At least Max and I have something in common now."

Even through her crying, Rory looked confused, so Dean clarified,

"We both know what it's like to have loved and lost a Gilmore girl."


	3. Confrontation

**To Love A Gilmore Girl**

**Chapter Three - Confrontation**

**Author - MysteryTeenageLover**

**A/N - There's no more Narco from here on in. This one's a bit overly-dramatic, but read on and there's a touch of LL smut in the next chapter...**

* * *

Not having Dean waiting for her at the bus stop felt like the end of the world to Rory. He had always been there, with coffee, or a book or just a kiss. But not anymore. Today, she got off the bus and ran straight into Jess, knocking the blonde straight out of his arms and off the pavement. Not stopping to apologize or even to wipe the tears from her eyes, she walked home in a blur and crashed through her front door. The second she was inside the familiar walls of her house she dropped to the floor, crying openly. Throwing her bag into a corner, she sobbed harder, hands flat on the floor to stop herself from keeling over.

"Honey? Rory, what is it?" Lorelai came running from the kitchen, half-eaten pop-tart in hand. She knelt, casting the tart aside and putting both arms around her daughter. Rory fell into her lap, a child again, rocking and leaning her head on her mother's shoulder.

"Dean…" she managed, and then fought a fresh wave of tears. Even saying his name was painful. It took most of the afternoon, but Lorelai eventually got her onto the couch with a tub of ice-cream.

"…and then he just…left." Tears prickled Rory's eyelids, but she was no longer fully crying.

"Honey, if he broke up with you because you wouldn't sleep with him, then I don't know if you should be with him anyway," Lorelai offered, taking the spoon back and eating a frozen mouthful herself.

"But it wasn't that. It was because of Jess. Dean said, 'It's him…isn't it?' right before he went."

"And is it? Him?"

"I don't…" Rory closed her eyes, confused and worn-out. Lorelai let her sleep. She remembered what it was like to lose her first love. When she left Christopher, even though he knew it was the right thing to do, it still made her feel empty and alone. But in time, she had realised that if she hadn't done it, there would have been no way for her to move forward. And she had a feeling that Rory was smart enough and sensible enough to figure that out too.

* * *

Rory closed her eyes and turned away from the sight that was Jess and his blonde sharing an open-mouthed kiss against the front of Luke's diner. Walking away, hands in pockets, Rory heard someone behind her. Jess caught her by the shoulder and tuned her around. The words, 'I love you' came out of his mouth, before that same mouth touched her lips, the hands that she had wanted to touch her for so long touched her. Jess pushed her against the gazebo wall, and the jolt of her hitting the wood woke Rory from her dream.

* * *

"Honey, I hate seeing you like this. This may sound stupid right about now, but you could just go and tell Jess how you feel."

This comment didn't even require an answer, Rory reflected, untouched pancake stack in front of her. There was absolutely no way that she was talking to Jess at all, much less laying her heart and soul bare in front of him. There had to be a better way.

But by the following afternoon, another sleepless night and her continuing appetite-loss confirmed that she couldn't possibly feel any worse than she already did. There was nothing else for it, she reflected, and whatever he said, she could go back to being certain that she had done everything. But there was one catch she hadn't though of, but became clear once she stepped outside the house and was instantly soaked. Apparently, she thought, old anger flaring up again, that the universe hated her too. It was raining. Pouring. She was drenched before she's even wrestled the front door closed in the howling wind.

Her soaking hair was being blown about her face by the wind, but Rory didn't care. Her clear blue eyes squinted against the rain, even as droplets ran down her face dripped into her dress. The fabric slapped around her thighs, weighed down with the water, but she kept fighting against the weather. She needed to march right up to Jess and tell him exactly what she thought of him. She caught sight of him outside Luke's. Mentally reminding herself that it was too late to chicken out now, she walked up and stood in front of him.

"Jess."

"Rory."

It came out all at once. "Why are you torturing me like this? I haven't done anything to you. You and your blonde and the kissing and the tree…and you stare right at me like you're doing it on purpose. How could you…I broke up with Dean for you, the other night…room…bed–" Jess tried to interject, but Rory ploughed on, skipping quickly and vaguely over the piece of information that she didn't want to share – "…and now, you don't even look at me. You never returned the book you borrowed. I tried to be friends with you when you first came to town, but now you're driving me mad. Just stop it! I'm sick of it and you and everything. So at least pretend to be nice to me or leave me alone, because I can't take it anymore."

During the entire exchange, Jess was shocked. Not just at the fact that little, innocent Rory was yelling through a storm at him. Not just because of all the things that she'd done or been through for him that he hadn't known about.

The thing that surprised him the most was the fact that having Rory angry with him turned him on more than anything else he'd ever encountered. Jess didn't miss, either, the fact that the rain had made her dress cling tightly to her perfect body, breasts outlined clearly in the cold. God, how he wanted to grab the girl in front of him, to silence her outrage with his lips. He wanted to touch her in all the places that would make her moan, to hold her against him and feel the rain steadily drench them both. Jess wanted to push the sodden hair out of her face and suck on her bottom lip, wanted to feel her hands run all over his body.

Rory nodded her head, more for emphasis than anything else, and then turned and walked back into the storm. Her mind was in a whirl. Her anger had gone, and replacing it was – desire? Something she couldn't quite name had taken her in its grip. She wanted to touch him, feel his wet clothes against his body. Rory wanted to hold onto him, and feel him hold her. Her own thoughts surprised her – gone was the Rory that was hung-up on Dean. She wanted Jess to kiss her and run his hands all over her body, anywhere and everywhere, but she didn't know how to ask. She wanted to see him, tanned and wet, in front of her, telling her that he was hers.

"Going somewhere?" Jess called after her. The wind tore the words from his mouth and flung them in Rory's direction. But Rory didn't look back. Jess sensed that if he didn't act now, he was going to lose the girl forever.


	4. Finally

************

To Love A Gilmore Girl

**Chapter Four - Finally**

**Author - MysteryTeenageLover**

A/N - To everyone who was _pleading_ for an update...I think you might like this one...especially you, Ella...

* * *

"Go away, Jess." Rory was determinedly staring straight ahead, eyes squinted against the rain but still fixed on the sidewalk.

"_You _came to find_ me_," Jess reminded her, "Now just listen to me for a moment." He gently held her wrist to make her turn around and pay attention. Rory roughly shook her hand free of grasp.

"What do you want?"

"You."

It was a simple statement of fact, and one that Rory had been wanting to hear for so long. So why, when she finally heard it, didn't she jump for joy? Why didn't she hold onto Jess the way she wanted to? The answer was simple; she was scared. Someone had once told her, or maybe she had heard it on TV once – that it was only when you had what you wanted that you had something to lose. It was dead right. Now that Jess was a possibility, a probability even, she was terrified of losing him.

"Rory, I've got something for you. I've been holding onto it for a while now, and once you have it, you can walk away and never talk to me again. But I want to give you this first." Some of Rory's frustration gave way to curiosity, and she turned to face him, nodding assent.

Jess took a slow step towards her, and Rory's first instinct was to back away. But something in Jess' deep gaze told her to hold her ground. Closing her eyes automatically, Rory felt Jess' lips finally touch her own – one, twice, three times – lightly. There was barely even contact, but from the three touches, Jess was able to make certain of one thing. Rory wanted more. So he gave it to her. Reaching out for her hips, he took her in both hands, wet hair framing her face. They slowly touched first their hips and then their stomachs and chests together, lips still moving. The first time Jess traced the seam of her lips with his tongue was the first time that either of them made any sound since Jess' little speech. Rory made a falling, sighing sound, and then parted her lips so that Jess could explore her mouth the way they both wanted him to. Rory's own hands were out of her control, and as they were pulled even more tightly together, it was not lost on her the fact that Jess was excited by their kiss.

Feeling Rory's breasts up against his chest, albeit with wet fabric in between, turned Jess on like nothing else ever had. The fact that he had sweet, loving little Rory pressed to him made him moan involuntarily into her mouth.

Their little private reverie was broken when Luke stuck his head out the door of the diner and bellowed that the two of them would be blown away if they didn't come inside. Taking Rory's hand, Jess led them both out of the storm, sighing as their clothes steamed in the indoor heat. Rory was concentrating less on the heat and more on the fact that Jess' fingers were intertwined with her own, making her feel safe. Knowing that Luke had seen the two of them together outside made Rory feel self-conscious enough to duck her head as they passed him. Luke muttered to Jess that he was going out on a delivery and to keep Rory alive. Jess was leading her upstairs, past the checked curtain and through the door with the glass panel. Once the door had been kicked shut behind them, in perfect timing, they reached for each other, as if they hadn't seen each other in years. Their lips touched again, and this time they were both bolder in their movements. But when Jess' hand crept up to and settled on her breast, Rory gently pushed him away.

"Sorry…" Jess whispered, up close to her ear. Rory shook her head.

"Don't be. It's just…more fun this way, isn't it?"

Jess shook his head in wordless wonder at the girl before him. At last, he managed,

"Would you like a towel? Maybe some dry clothes?"

Rory nodded, looking curiously around Jess' bedroom. Once both of them were reasonably dry, and Rory was wearing one of Jess' oversized flannel shirts (inherited from Luke), the two of them settled onto the sofa together. It was comfortable, as if it was a long practiced thing with them. Jess leaned against the corner, and Rory settled between his legs, back to his chest, with his arms around her stomach. Rory rubbed her hands absently up and down his dry jeans.

"I bet you knew this would happen," Jess teased her, tickling one of her hips and making her laugh.

"I did not!" she managed, her cute giggles subsiding, "I came here to yell at you, and to tell you exactly what I thought of you."

"And what, _exactly_, do you think of me?"

Rory didn't reply with words. Instead, she leant her head back and touched his mouth with her lips. Jess leant down, still holding her waist with his arms. Rory let one hand drift to hold the side of his face, tongue exploring his lips. She loved the way that they curved to fit each other, that she could lie back against him and fit against his body perfectly. She broke it off after a while, and lay her head back against his chest, arching her back into him. He dropped his lips to below her neck and kissed her there, sucking on her skin.

"You really are a smooth talker, Mariano," Rory told him after a while, "and how exactly did you get me up here, wearing one of your shirts, on your sofa, just the two of us?"

"Don't blame me, Gilmore. You came up here of your own free will."

"You'd like the think that, wouldn't you, mister?"

Jess laughed, and silenced her by kissing her again. The turning of the door handle made them both look up. Luke came through the doorway, burger in hand.

"I thought you might be hungry…and…how long was I gone?!" His incredulousness was soon replaced by anger. Jess and Rory sprang up off the couch, both awfully aware of how it looked. Rory wearing not much but a shirt, lying on Jess, with his mussed hair and his wrinkled shirt. Rory was hopelessly self-conscious as Luke turned around, and she struggled back into her sodden dress. Jess made to follow her out the door, but was stopped by Luke's hand on his shoulder. Rory just heard the,

"You're not going _anywhere_!"

Running back into the rain and the wind, she arrived breathless at her own house a few minutes later. Crashing into her mother in the kitchen, she realised too late that the zip was half-undone at one side and that there was an unmistakable mark just under her collarbone.

* * *


	5. Grounded

**To Love A Gilmore Girl**

**Chapter Five - Grounded**

**Author - MysteryTeenageLover**

**A/N - I am spoiling you all...two chapters in three days!! Never mind my schoolwork...**

* * *

"What did you get?"

"Grounded for a week. You?"

"How do you know I got anything?"

"I put that mark there myself, you know."

"Oh…same. Except for school and grandma's."

"Sorry about that, by the way."

"You are not. So, stuck in the apartment?"

"Yep…except school and deliveries."

"Wait…I can hear Luke."

"Talk later."

"Bye."

Rory rolled over onto her stomach, staring absent-mindedly at her Harvard poster and sweater on the wall. It had been less than twenty-four hours and already she missed Jess. She missed everything about him; the book in his back pocket, his smile, the way his arms held her to him. She was hung up on one word that Jess had said…_deliveries_. Hmm.

"Lane…I promise to love you forever if you do this one thing for me…"

* * *

"Did I ever tell you that you're the smartest girl I know?" Jess asked, sitting on the floor of her bedroom, ready to dive under her bed at a moment's notice.

"Yes, you have," Rory laughed, "and thank you." Still smiling, she leaned forwards and kissed Jess, her hands resting just above his knees as he knelt on her floor. Jess shuddered involuntarily at the contact, which caused Rory to break away, and look at him questioningly.

"What is it?" she asked him. Jess laid his hands over hers. Rory, uncharacteristically, gave a wicked grin. She traced her hands, lightly, up higher on his legs. Jess moaned, without meaning to.

"What? I didn't catch that," she told him, moving her hands up higher, loving the way that all his muscles tensed in reaction to her wandering hands.

"Don't…tease…" Jess groaned. Rory smiled to herself, feeling powerful now that Jess had lost a portion of his iron control, and squeezing her fingers into his legs. Jess gave another groan, louder this time.

Helping Jess out the window a few minutes later, Rory was sad to see him go, but at the same time glad that they had been able to spend at least some time together. Leaning out of the window frame to give him one last, lingering, passionate kiss, Rory nearly fell. She caught herself, laughing, and then closed the window, sorry to see him leave.

* * *

A week later, Rory and Jess were in the gazebo, celebrating their newfound freedom with a little public display of affection. Rory totally forgot where they were as she leaned into Jess, his mouth ravishing her neck before climbing back up to her lips and passionately kissing them. She remembered where they were when his hands stroked the sides of her breasts, arousing her but at the same time scaring her. They were in the town square, she remembered, and she couldn't let herself be touched like this in public.

"Jess!" An angry voice cut through Rory's reasoning with herself.

"Shane?" It was the blonde from the carnival and the bus stop. She turned incredulously to Jess, just as Shane reached the steps of the gazebo.

"What are you doing?"

"Shane…"

"Who the hell are you?"

"Rory, don't say anything."

"Don't tell me what to do, Jess."

"Why are you kissing her?"

"Because we're together."

"What about me?"

"You didn't break up with her?"

"You told her we broke up?"

"I didn't get a chance to –"

"Rory, come back!"

"You want her to come back?"

"Yes. I need to expl –"

"How could you?"

"Shane…wait."

"No."

"Bye, Jess."

And with that, Jess was left sitting on the bench, by himself, while the blonde and the brunette both stormed away from him.

* * *

"Don't get that!" Rory warned her mother.

"But I need to hear from Sookie…" The phone rang insistently.

"_Don't_."

Rory tried, again, to finish her essay, but to no avail. There was no way that she could concentrate. It was true that once you have something, then you have something to lose. And she'd lost him, alright. Rory didn't understand how someone, in good conscience, could be together with someone while dating someone else. And if Jess thought that was okay, well…she didn't know that she wanted to be with him.

Except, of course, that she did want to be with him. So much that it hurt. After being kept from him for the best part of a week, Rory was thoroughly sick of not seeing him. She wanted to see him, to hold him, to kiss him. She wanted him to hold her and kiss her. Was that so much to ask?

Jess sighed, tossing his book behind him. There was no way that he could concentrate. He had fully intended to end it with Shane the second he was allowed out. But how could he, when Rory had run straight over to the diner as soon as she was permitted to, bubbling over with that enthusiasm that he loved about her? Shane went to school in Hartford, anyway, and he hadn't heard from her in over a week. Why did she have to pick this day of all days to decide that she wanted to see him again? It wasn't fair. He'd been on the brink of something wonderful with Rory, and now it was ruined, ironically, by the very girl that he had used to make her jealous and want to be with him in the first place. He felt like the universe was being mean to him, like it wanted him to be miserable. Because that's what he was.

* * *

Lorelai hated to see her daughter like that. Rory wasn't the type to get hung up over one thing. She was the type to wallow a little, and then deal with it in a mature way and move on. But a week later, she still wasn't taking Jess' calls, she refused to see him when he came to the door and her mother had opened it, and she refused to talk about it. None of her Christmas break assignments had moved from the 'to be completed' stack to the 'done' stack on her desk since before the fateful day with the storm, and Lorelai wanted to do something about it.

* * *

"…and that's when she stormed off, and that's the last I've seen of her," Jess finished, looking up for the first time at Lorelai, who was sitting at the counter, oversized coffee cup in hand.

"Why don't you just explain all that to Rory?" Lorelai wondered.

"Because she won't see me or talk to me or take my calls," Jess explained, "I need to tell her that I ended it with Shane to be with her, and if she doesn't appreciate that, then…" he trailed off, but Lorelai understood.

"You know what?" she leant in, "Between the two of us, I think there's something we can do."


	6. Exposed

**To Love A Gilmore Girl**

**Chapter Six - Exposed**

**Author - MysteryTeenageLover**

**A/N - I'm running out of ideas where to take this story, so if anyone has anything shoot me an email / review / carrier pigeon...**

Rory flipped through the book on her lap without really seeing it. She usually loved the way that her books transported her to different worlds, let her be whoever she wanted to be. But today, all she wanted to be was Jess' girlfriend, and that was one thing that her literature-centered world could not provide for her. A girl of many morals, Rory wondered at the audacity of someone who could be with one and date another at the same time; the guilt confused her. And now, she felt like she had taken Jess from Shane, even if she felt that he was truly hers. Which she did. Jess Mariano was hers. Rory's to hold and kiss and touch. And to be held and kissed and touched by. And nothing was getting in the way of that. Rory vowed the next time he came to her door, she would give him a chance to explain. She just needed to hear it from him; a reassurance that she was his girl.

But Jess never came. She stayed up as late as her tired emotional state would allow, and then finally retired to bed at a quarter to two. It couldn't have been much after two o'clock in the morning that Jess Mariano tapped lightly on Rory's window, and when there was no response, tried the catch and found it unlocked. Stepping quietly over the frame and into her room, the first thing that hit him was how her book collection had grown since he was last in her room. It had expanded onto every shelf and extended to neat piles in stacks on the floor beside her desk. They overflowed from drawers and lay on chairs. When his wonderment ceased, he turned to Rory's bed.

She slept on her side, face towards him and the door. She looked so sweet and innocent in her sleep that even after walking in the early hours of the morning across town to explain everything to her, he couldn't wake her. He didn't have the heart; she looked so peaceful. If Rory had been going through half as much as Jess had in the past few days, then this was one of the few moments of peace she had had, and he wasn't about to be the one to take it from her. Especially as he wanted to give her everything, to love her and give her all he had, taking nothing away from the unique girl that was Rory Gilmore.

* * *

When Rory woke, she should have been more surprised to find a warm presence in her bed. Out of respect, Jess had kicked off his shoes and fallen asleep facing the other way, so she didn't wake and see his face just inches from her own and get a fright. But, during the night, he had turned, and had ended up sleeping with his stomach to her back, fitting perfectly around her curled form, arm over her waist and holding her hand. His face rested above her shoulder, and a strand of her hair was across his shoulder. His legs and hers had formed a spoon, and it was all he could do to hide his body's reaction to having her naked thigh so close to him.

Jess had been awake ever since the first rays of sunlight had slanted into her room and fallen across her desk, let in by the window that had let him in the night before. Or earlier that morning, really, he reflected. Not wanting to wake Rory, he didn't move and just enjoyed their closeness. Rory's dream was still lingering around her. Not surprisingly, it involved Jess. And kissing. And – her thoughts trailed off as she realised that she recognized the hand that held hers.

"Jess?" she asked, more a confirmation than a question. He nodded, and slowly unfolded himself off her bed, standing on the other side of it. Rory climbed out of her own bed, and Jess had to catch his breath and bit his lip. She was wearing a singlet, without a bra. And underwear. And that was it. His scorching gaze took in her naked legs, the curve of her slender stomach, her shoulders, her long neck and her beautiful hair, so perfect even after a night's sleep. She stared back at him, folding her arms across her stomach in an effort to cover herself up. But she knew it was no good. Jess had seen too much already.

"You have to go," she whispered, urgently.

"Rory…" Jess pleaded, wanting to stay and explain, "I...I talked to your mother. I'm so –"

"I know," she whispered, internally amazed that anyone would talk to her mother for her, "I heard. Has anyone ever told you that you murmur in your sleep?" The ghost of a smile crossed her lips, before she remembered. She pushed him gently towards the window.

"Jess, I understand. But listen, you have to go now. My mum told me something last night…I need you to understand. You have to leave now, but I'll come and find you at the diner later today."

Leaning over her bed, she kissed his mouth lightly, and then made to pull away, but Jess caught her chin and pulled her face back to his. His tongue traced her mouth, and despite everything, she parted her lips and kissed him passionately, missing the way that his lips teased her, feathering light kisses all over before finally letting her tongue explore his mouth again. His hand went to her hair, tangling seductively in her long curls, the other slowly and lightly tracing the outline of her breasts with one fingertip. Rory heard herself groan in pleasure against his jaw, and it was that which brought her back to earth.

"Jess…" she whispered, pushing him off again, "I need to think. And I can't think when you're here, with me. You confuse me, and there's something I need to tell you. But right, now, you need to leave. I'll come and see you. Now, go."

The window clicked shut, and Jess was gone. Her bedroom suddenly felt exceptionally empty without his warm presence. She found a book she'd never seen before lying across her nightstand; Jess must have taken it out of his pocket to sleep. Touching the cover with her fingers, she flipped the first few pages, noting his neat handwriting in the margins.

Finding her clothes, she stumbled into the kitchen for coffee. As she had suspected Luke was there. And he was leaning over Lorelai's chair, kissing her lips and running his fingers lovingly through her dark hair. Rory had vowed never to judge her mother, but Luke…this soon after breaking up with Max? She had been engaged to him. She had removed the wedding band and give in back to Rory's former teacher, but now Luke? In their kitchen, kissing her mother? It was all a little surreal.

Clearing her throat, Rory somewhat awkwardly entered the kitchen, burying her face in a coffee cup as soon as possible. The same thought that had been plaguing her last night reentered her mind. If Luke and Lorelai married, that would make her and Jess…

Cousins.


	7. Fantasy

**To Love A Gilmore Girl**

**Chapter Seven - Fantasy**

**Author - MysteryTeenageLover**

**A/N - If you don't like all the emotional stuff, the next chapter might be more to your liking...**

* * *

"Hey," Jess leant over the counter to kiss Rory, but she turned her head to the side, the ghost of a tear glimmering in her eye. He kissed her cheek, but when he tried to touch her cheek, she leant away. Never taking his eyes off her, he called,

"Caesar! I'm going upstairs for a while. Take care of things here!" And without even hearing Caesar's murmured assent, he turned and pushed his way through the curtain, sensing rather than hearing that Rory was right behind him.

"Jess," Rory started, without even sitting down, "I need to tell you something. Two things, actually. The first is that I think that we should dial it back…take it a bit slower. We should start off as friends – that was the bit we skipped over last time. Look how easy it was for someone to come between us. And I'm not saying – " she hurried on, as Jess made to interrupt her, " – that we need to stop seeing each other. But we need to take it slower. And the other thing…is that my mom and Luke are … they're … well … _together_."

Jess fell back onto the couch, stunned.

"How…long?" he managed.

"I don't know. But I do know that he was the reason that the Max thing ended…and do you know what that –" But Jess' mind had worked just as fast as hers had.

" – makes us? Cousins," he finished for her, and breathed out slowly. There didn't seem to be anything more to be said, and when Rory left five minutes later, the tension broke and washed over the individuals.

* * *

Jess awoke the next morning to find Rory's arm curved over his waist. Groggily wondering whether he had gone in his sleep to Rory's room the previous night, he opened his eyes to realise that he was in his own bed. So was Rory. Gently wriggling out of her grasp so as not to wake the beautiful, sleeping girl, he dressed silently and then sat, facing her.

When Rory finally woke up, she smiled guiltily up at Jess.

"I thought you were going to some and see me?" he asked, as soon as she looked awake enough to understand.

"I did." She waved vaguely around at the bed and his room.

"Oh…forgive me. I just assumed that you meant while I was awake, but never mind."

Rory climbed out of his bed. To Jess' disappointment and partly to his relief, she was wearing a pair of pajamas, and only an inch of honeyed skin was showing between the top and the bottom. To his dismay, that was all Jess needed to make him hot for the girl in front of him.

"Here – aren't you cold?" he asked, offering her a blanked off the bed and snatching up his long coat, the one that dropped past his waist. Pulling it tightly around himself, he added,

"I've got to get to work, but I'll see you later?" To his surprise, the uncertainty in the question displayed his longing to see Rory again. Damn her – she was so sexy and perfect that he couldn't purposely stay away. And he was halfway out the door before he heard her say,

"I didn't mean to just come here…but I missed you."

Swallowing, he asked, "And your mother thinks you are…?"

"Lane's." It was a plain statement of fact.

"I've really got to go, but I will see you later…"

"Jess?"

"Rory?"

"My mom thinks we broke up…because of the…you know, so can you not tell her that…" she trailed off mid-sentence. Despite everything that he felt, Jess found himself growing angry.

"What would I tell her, Rory? What? I don't even know what we are. I apologize and you don't forgive me. I try to make it up, and you say that we should be friends! I don't know what to do anymore – I'm done with all this. Just tell me when you figure it all out."

And with that, Jess stormed out of Luke's apartment. At the diner, he couldn't concentrate. He delivered the wrong order to everyone, he lost his temper with Caesar for no apparent reason, he yelled at the old couple who didn't have the correct change for their coffee, and finally threw a chair across the room and stormed out the door, slamming it and making the bell clang angrily. Just like he felt.

* * *

"Jess?" Rory asked.

"Rory?" Jess confirmed.

"It's three in the morning; why are you awake?"

"Why are you?"

"Because."

"You called me."

"Right. Well…"

"I've made up my mind." And with that, she hung up the phone. Was is his imagination, or did she sound more angry and fierce than sure?

Jess' world exploded. He honestly couldn't believe everything that had happened. What with Rory's see-sawing backwards and forwards and wanting to be friends and wanting then more; it confused the hell out of him, not to mention made his heart alternately soar and then plummet. Adorable, sexy Rory…making him the happiest person in the world, then shoving him into the depths of depression, and then making him joyful again. He loved it and he loathed it. It confused him and it made his head and his heart hurt. He needed it to stop. He needed her to either love him or to leave him totally and completely to his own sadness.

Throwing himself down on his bed, he let his pounding head rest. But there was no way that he could keep thoughts of Rory Gilmore from his mind. His body perked up in eager response to his helpless fantasies, and for the first time, instead of fighting it, he just accepted it and let it happen. His imagination ran away with him, taking him away into daydreams that didn't render him either fully asleep or fully awake. It was heaven, and it was hell. It was wonderful, because in his mind, he told her everything that he wanted to say to her, and she smiled gently and told him that she loved him. But it was terrible, because when he opened his eyes again, he knew that it wasn't for real. That an uncomplicated relationship was in his mind and not in real life. So Jess just lay back let his daydreams wash over him, draggng a reluctant smile to his face

A loud slam jerked him from his blissful fantasy. Sitting up, he folded both his hands in his lap and called a greeting to Luke. The only thing was, it wasn't Luke's silhouette in the doorway. It was the slim, perfect figure of Rory Gilmore.


	8. Hell, Yes

**To Love A Gilmore Girl**

**Chapter Eight - Hell, Yes**

**Author - MysteryTeenageLover**

**A/N - I _think_ this might be what you've all been waiting for...Especially you, Ella...**

* * *

But she wasn't happy. In fact, he could just see through the darkness that there were tears in her eyes.

"Rory?" Jess asked tentatively, confused as to why she was crying in his doorway, not even wanting to cross the threshold.

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry. Jess…" she drew breath between her quiet sobs, making Jess unconsciously reach for her, to comfort her. His fingers brushed the tears from her cheeks, touching her face delicately with the softness of his warm hands.

"Hey, hey. Rory? Sorry for what?" he asked, in a low voice, moving closer to envelop her in his strong, comforting arms.

"For yelling at you about Shane…and for jerking you around like that; treating you the way I did. It was terrible of me. You don't deserve that – you don't…" Rory dropped her head, as Jess' fingertips brushed the last of her tears from her eyes. Then, he slid his thumbs under her chin and lifted her head so that he clear, beautiful blue eyes were level with his deep, soulful brown ones.

"I'd wait forever for you, Rory, you know that?" Smiling just a little, Rory nodded. Then she shook her head.

"I'm sorry, Jess, for this. For going to pieces like this…I – it's not –"

"Hey, hey," Jess hugged her to his chest, "It's alright." His hand traced across her forehead, stroking a stray curl back behind her ear, face dangerously close to hers. On a whim, Rory reached up and touched his chin, tilting it just a little bit. Their lips met lovingly, warm and familiar. Jess' mouth worked, hot and wet, on hers, drawing an involuntary moan from her. Jess tangled one of his hands seductively in her hair, holding her head to him, even though he knew that she wouldn't dream of pulling away from him. Not now. His tongue roamed her open mouth, building the passion of their kiss to an almost unbearable point. Pushing her smoothly down onto his bed, he cushioned the back of her neck as her head fell against his mattress. His rough touch travelled over her smooth stomach, while his other hand tightened its grip on her hair. His hand found the edge of her shirt, clever fingers discovering the taut skin that was higher up under her shirt. The fabric covered her firm breasts which, to Jess' delight, revealed how aroused she was by his touch. As Jess palmed her through the fabric, Rory moaned in pleasure, trying to relieve some of the heat that pooled in the pit of her stomach and at the top of her legs.

Rory kissed her way insistently down his cheekbone, to his jaw and down his neck, tasting salty flesh. Struggling with his shirt, and finally winning, Rory openly gasped as his hard body was revealed to her. She let her curious mouth explore his chest muscles until he gave a strangled moan, and Rory recognised half of her name in it. He let the pleasure wash over him as Rory covered every inch of his chest with her lips. Her small, inquisitive hands strayed downwards, over his hips, seeking…

Jess didn't think he could take it anymore, and he didn't want to ruin it by rushing everything. Taking control again, he trailed his tongue to the corner of her mouth, and then down her chin and back to her neck. Finding the hollow spot that made her moan and clench her fists into his hair, Jess left small love bits all across her skin. Revelling in the mixture of pleasure and pain that his lips and teeth had on her, Rory let her head fall sideways, concentrating on keeping her breathing in check. His clever fingers had unbuttoned her shirt and thrown it to the ground before Rory even realised it was gone. She was even more surprised to find Jess' deft fingers sensually touching her breast, first stroking the underside so lightly that he was barely touching her, and then using his thumb to trace strong, slow circles around it. Her gasps were intermittent and breathless, and it gave Jess untold pleasure to hear her succumbing to his clever hands. Rory's hands were running through his dark hair as she tried to control her body's responses to Jess' ministrations. Jess' free hand was tugging firmly on the clasp at her back, desperate to release the material that was blocking her breasts from his sight. Peeling back the fabric that encased her, he let out a strangled noise that was somewhere between a grunt of pleasure and a moan of longing, releasing her supple breasts. Rory moaned as well, sweeping her hands over his back as his hands met her bare skin for the first time.

An involuntary sound escaped Rory's lips as the firm muscles on Jess' back rippled under her touch. Warmth glowed off his searing flesh, and Rory let her hands travel downwards again. A gentle clicking and the rattle of his belt buckle drew Jess' attention to the fact that Rory's quick fingers had already freed the button and zipper holding his jeans together. Rory found herself enjoying subjecting him to such slow pleasure, as she slid her hands slowly and torturously under his waistband. Jess covered her mouth for another hungry kiss, his lips insistent and rough over hers. Taking note of the fact that her mouth was distracting him, Rory seized the opportunity and pulled off his jeans in one quick moment, stunning Jess into stillness. She placed her delicate hands slowly onto him, and he moaned again, louder and more impatient. One of his hands fell to her waist, one finger tracing a path down her hip and across to her underwear. He rubbed her through the already damp fabric, teasing her and making her call his name through the darkness. He wanted to pay her back for all the teasing she had condemned him to. Dragging aside the material, he used the tip of his thumb to rub her in her most sensitive spot, eliciting another moan from her as she writhed on his bed. His eyes clouded with lust and desire at the sight of her twisting beneath him, unable to fight against his steady hand.

Rory gasped pleasurably as Jess' hand began to move within her, her hips helping and guiding his fingers into her. Her breathing grew heavier and her gasps were more frequent as she tried to hold herself back and her hands fisted in his hair. At the exact moment when she thought she couldn't hold herself back any longer, his fingers slid away from her. Rory's cry of protest turned into a desperate gasp as his mouth found her instead, and this time it was even harder to hold herself back. But in seemingly no time at all, her open gasps turned to soft screams of pleasure as Jess' mouth coaxed her to a shuddering climax. Letting her quivering, shuddering body calm for a moment and stroking her hair, Jess looked into Rory's eyes and saw desire there. But more than that, he saw love – the true, sincere kind of love that he'd wanted to see in her face for so long. Latching his fingers under the seam the only piece of fabric left covering her body, he dragged her briefs down, over her legs and off altogether. Collecting herself a little, Rory looped her arm over Jess' neck and thanked him without words.

"Rory…" Jess' voice was dark with desire. Her slightly swollen lips whispered his name also, even as her hands found and removed the last of his garments that stayed between them. Feeling him against her inner thigh made Rory's breath hitch, and her hands smoothed over his chest, which rose and fell as he held himself back from his last desire. Taking one last, longing gaze into her eyes, Jess thrust himself inside her. She grabbed at his shoulders, nails digging into him as he started to move slowly. Quickening their rhythm made it easier for them both to move their hips in time with the other. His hands fell to her stomach, then to her hips as she whispered senseless words into the curve of his shoulders. Soon, their feverish rhythm coupled with their need to have the other drove them both to the edge. Rory clung to him desperately, wanting to feel him even closer against her, writhing uncontrollably as waves of pleasure took her in their grip. Pushing into her again, brutally and fully, drove Jess to his own completion, which he rode out still holding onto the girl under him.

They lay together, Jess gazing down at the beautiful and breathless girl pinned beneath him. Surrendering to a new intimacy that he had never before experienced made him all the more in love with the girl now lay on her back next to him, hands tangled in the sheets and eyes still closed as the last of her shuddering climax slowly faded.

"Jess?" Rory asked, her fingers tracing the contours of his chest.

"Rory?" Jess replied, lips close to her ear.

"Did you mean what you said?"

"When?"

"Before. About you waiting forever."

Jess smiled, and kissed her bruised and swollen lips.

"Hell, yes."


End file.
